HAWAII — Day 4

Yesterday, when I woke up and peeked outside our condo, I saw this:


What were those people staring at, you ask?


Here are a two of them poking up out of the water:


It rained a lot in the morning, which was kind of a pain . . . except when I saw this:


Eventually it got sunny, and I headed out with my mom (Naomi) and half-sister (Martha). Our first stop was Maui Tacos . . .


. . . and our second stop was a nearby Barnes & Noble:


Martha, a hardcore snorkeler, needed a book about Hawaiian sea life, so while she browsed, I checked out the sports section to see if either of my last two books were there.

The answer was . . .



I made the photo above really big so you can click it and zoom way in. Look where the arrow is pointing, and you’ll see one copy of each book — The Baseball on the left and Watching Baseball Smarter on the right. It would’ve been nice if there were a dozen copies of each (right next to Moneyball) with the covers facing out, but hey, I’ll take it.

Here I am with the books:


I brought the copies to the info desk, identified myself as the author, and signed them. Here’s what I wrote in Watching Baseball Smarter:


Then both copies received an “autographed copy” sticker . . .


. . . and that was the end of it.

Good times.

This was the view as we drove out of the mall:


Unfortunately this was the view back at our condo:


We were trying to relax and look at/listen to the ocean, but all we heard for ten minutes was that bozo’s phone conversation about his American Express card. That patch of lawn *is* available to all the condos, but damn, some people are rude to the point of being clueless, and we seem to be staying near a bunch of them. While I was writing this blog entry, I had to go outside and inform a different man that we could hear everything he was saying, and could he please go inside with his phone, and blah blah. Amazing. But enough about that.

The main event of the day was Old Lahaina Luau. Here’s what it looked like when we lined up to be seated:


Here we are being led to our table:


We had more than an hour until dinner was gonna start, so we wandered the grounds and checked out the various activities. This dude was handing out freshly-shredded coconut:


Martha and I posed with a large tiki idol:


These folks were getting a dance lesson . . .


. . . while these guys were uncovering an underground oven (called an imu) that was cooking several whole pigs:


Dinner was a buffet — big trouble for anyone named Hample because we’re all crazy eaters.

Here’s Martha and my mom . . .


. . . and here’s a closeup of my (first) plate. I’ll identify everything below:


1) crab salad
2) banana bread
3) sweet potato (yup, naturally purple)
4) lomi-lomi salmon (the salmon and tomato look similar)
5) fried rice
6) “chicken long rice” (made with cellophane noodles)
7) taro salad (tasted kinda sweet)
8) “island fish” (whatever THAT means)
9) steak
10) teriyaki chicken
11) kalua pig
12) poi (tasted like oatmeal paste)
13) pork wrapped in a tea leaf

To say that I’ve been full this entire trip is an understatement. I’ve been STUFFED.

At around 7:15pm, the show got underway. Here’s one of many photographs that I took:


There were short skits that depicted Hawaiian history, along with various types of dances — lots of drumming, funky costumes, et cetera. The show lasted an hour, which was perfect. I enjoyed every bit of it, but if it had lasted any longer, I would’ve been bored.

On the way out, I got my picture taken with two of the performers:


More soon . . .


  1. connor

    If Martha is an avid snorkeler and hasn’t seen any sea turtles yet, there is a smaller cove 2 down from where your condo is (the last one before Napili bay), where there are always turtles. It’s called Honokeana and the water is deeper, which they seem to like. There are also usually only one or two other people around. If you go, you have to either walk through a condo complex to a pebble beach or find a small path on the right side. If you go down the path, there are some rocks to climb down and an area to get in. It’s not the easiest but manageable and worth it for all the turtles and coral in the deeper cove. Be careful on the rocks though!

  2. Ray Burton

    Zack , you really should bring a couple of those nice Hawaii girls home –or have you already ? Much nicer than stuck-up Shea stadium hangarounds. Make sure you say mahalo afterwards though.

  3. Zack Hample

    Thanks for the advice on that snorkeling spot. As it turns out, Martha *has* been seeing lots of turtles.

    “Mahalo” for the advice. Not sure if they could fit in my carry-on. Worth a try?

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