Snagging cures jet lag?

Yesterday, Martha happened to mention that she’s never been to a baseball game at either New York stadium.

So I did a little research.

Turns out the Yankees are home the day we get back. That’s Thursday. Gametime is 7:05pm. Gates open at 5:05pm. Gotta be online outside the gates by 4:45pm. Gotta be on line at the ticket window by 4:30pm. Gotta be in the subway by 3:45pm…but Martha doesn’t like to run…better make that 3:30pm…but Martha REALLY doesn’t like to run…make it 3:15pm.

MarthaOur flight will land at around 2:00pm. We’ll get off the plane around 2:10pm. We’ll get our luggage around 2:20pm. We’ll get a taxi around 2:25pm. We’ll get back to Manhattan around 3:15pm.


I’ll get upstairs at 3:16pm. I’ll finish peeing at 3:17pm. I’ll gather my stuff for the game by 3:20pm. I’ll call Martha (she’s from Memphis and will be staying seven blocks away at my parents’ place) and tell her to meet me at the subway at 3:25pm. I’ll also tell her she might need to run a little bit. Or maybe jog. Or at least speed-walk.

Forget about being late. There are three other issues:

1. It might rain. (It always “might rain,” and if it rains, I’m not going. Yankee Stadium without batting practice is worthless.)

2. Martha has already asked me to catch her a ball. I thought she was joking. She wasn’t. I told her that I own every ball I’ve ever caught and that my collection would be incomplete if I gave one away. “ONE ball for your SISTER?” she asked. Some people just don’t get it. Actually, a lot of people don’t get it. It’s a shame when those people share my last name. I told her that I’d help her catch her own ball. She doubted she’d be able to. “Do I need a glove?” she asked. No. Just shaddap and do what I tell you. She still wasn’t sure. I told her that every person I’ve ever brought to a game got a ball if he or she wanted one and put in the effort. I didn’t tell her that she might need to run.

3. Jet lag. By the time the game starts, it’s going to feel like 2:05am for me. Normally, that’s dinner time, but I’ve been going to bed even earlier than that on this trip. By the time the game Paperairplaneends (if it’s of average length), it’ll feel like 4:53am. By the time I get home, it’ll feel like 5:51am. Poor Martha goes to bed even earlier than me. She’ll die. But damn, if a Yankees game is not exciting enough to force us to stay awake, then there’s really no hope.

I’m hoping the game will help me beat my jet lag all in one shot because the following night (Friday the 27th), I’m scheduled to work my usual shift from 9pm to 3am. If I don’t find a way to readjust my sleep pattern, it’ll feel like I’m working until 10am.

That’s not ideal.

Wish me luck.

(THE NON-BASEBALL TRAVEL UPDATE, DAY 10: It was Shabbas. The whole city shut down. That made it harder to overeat…except for that $33 buffet lunch at the hotel at which I felt it was my duty to get my parents’ money’s worth, and then some. Oy.)



    I’d like to take issue with the ‘Yankee Stadium without BP is worthless comment’.

    It’s only historic, revered land that’s all.

    I’m going to that game, and I am diving toward balls just to keep them out of your hands. ;) But not Martha’s, of course.

  2. steve

    I went to the Phillies/O’s game sunday… it’d be your worst nightmare… I got there 2.5 hours early for the 1:30pm start, because was just visited for the weekend and the weather was great…

    It happened to be photo day before the game, so they cancelled BP!! I had a prime spot in near the foul pole before realizing this.


    I agree with the town crier. You do seem to have a way of underestimating time my friend!! :-) Of course maybe it’s possible, and I could be wrong, but it’s not likely (that I’m wrong, that is).

  4. Zack

    Dear elias-
    Yankee Stadium is one of the most expensive and crowded ballparks in the majors. Security is also ten times stricter there than anywhere else. Historic? Yes. Good baseball? Yes. A pleasant place to watch a game? Don’t get me started. I’m sticking to my earlier statement. Let the diving begin.


    You’re right. GULP! But that’s not the biggest/newest issue. My next entry will address this.


    I pity you. The same thing has happened to me several times. That’s why I always check out the schedule beforehand to make sure there’s not some awful promotion. One time at Shea, there was a Police Dept. vs Fire Dept. softball game instead of BP…which wasn’t even on the schedule. Just gotta do your research and hope for the best.


    As I told towncrier, there’s now a whole nother issue…


    I think there’s a reason it’s so expensive, but seriously, I used to get cheap seats up near heaven and be happy as a clam to be there.

    It’s the feel, it’s what it’s like to look out and see the facade as a gateway to the city. It’s history, it’s religion… when I was away I missed it more than I can describe.

    I’ve been to a TON of ballparks and give me the old, clanky over the new-fangled jobbies any and every day, please. I dread the day Georgie gets his new ballpark built.

  6. Zack

    Yes, emphasis on “used to.” The cheap seats aren’t so cheap anymore. When I started going to games full-time in 1992, the most expensive seat was like $15, which is cheaper than the cheapest seats are now (not counting the bleachers).

    I’m dreading the new ballpark, too. You know that thing will be smaller and even more expensive and sold out for a decade.

    I like your passion.


    You can dread the new ballpark all you want, but its inevitable. It will definitely be smaller but unlikely to be sold out for a decade. The Yankees will come down to earth eventually and I am so looking forward to that day. You can say its revered and historic all you want, but its easily the most unfriendly place in all of baseball.

  8. Zack

    Now wait a second…
    The Indians sold out 455 consecutive games when they moved into the Jake. Divide that by 81 and you get…five and a half seasons worth of games. Okay, so it’s not exactly a decade, but still, you don’t think the Yankees could approach a number like that?

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